a lost year

A LOST YEAR

in years past we have gone out to a restaurant for our anniversary
last year we didnt
this year we didnt
why
the pandemic

this year we went to the beach thanks to an anniversary gift
a blanket with bottles of wine and champagne and cheeses and a meal
all laid out for us to enjoy

we sat on the blanket and talked while the sun started setting in the west
this location is a favorite spot to see the sunset
that day it didnt disappoint us

my wife she says im going to ask you the 4 h questions
say what
you mean like agriculture stuff
no
she said
i use to ask my students these questions to learn about them

i thought to myself
lordy you already know all about me

one question
what makes you happy
now
i wasnt feeling really philosophical that day 
i said
im just happy to be alive
thinking about surviving whatever i had a year and a half ago
thinking i was agoner for sure a couple of times

i was happy that i havent died from alzheimers yet

what gives you hope
i said
that the aduhelm (aducanumab) will slow down alzheimers for myself and others

as i write this i cant remember the other two hs

i guess i wasnt very thoughtful at the moment
since
as i looked at the sun setting in the distance i was thinking a lot about the last year and a half
realizing it was a lost year

i said
you know i havent been to the beach for over a year and a half
i love the beach
i love walking on the beach 
i love walking above the beach on the cliffs above the ocean
there is something relaxing and mesmerizing about it

but
i havent been there at all even though we live only 2 miles from the beach

from that thought i wandered across a lot of thoughts
we havent really been to a restaurant or movie or show 
well we did meet friends at an outdoor restaurant in los angeles recently
we havent flown or traveled
we havent made our annual visit to see friends and family in over two years
thank goodness for email texting facebook facetime and zoom
i lost a brother and didnt get to attend his funeral but did get to attend a memorial service on line via a zoomlike hookup
i havent been able to go with mr hudson for his hospitalizations and his doctor appointments
we havent got to do a lot of what we usually do

thankful there seems to be some light at the end of the tunnel soon so we can safely resume our prepandemic activities
thankfully most of our contacts are double vaxxed
the kids will get theirs soon

i want to
shake a hand
kiss a cheek
give a hug
sit and visit and eat and enjoy loved ones company 
without he fear of getting sick and dying

i dont ever want to lose another year again

the organicgreen doctor