caffeinated again

 CAFFEINATED AGAIN

this is the picture of my first cup of coffee that i have had in almost 9 months
if you are a coffee drinker then you understand the feeling i had anticipating my first cup in that length of time

i actually felt like an addict anticipating that first sip of that black strong bold bitter delicious coffee

about nine months ago i got sick with something that i think was covid 19
2 days into that illness i thought i was going to die
i had high fever chills body aches stomach cramps diarrhea no appetite shortness of breath irregular heart beats headaches etc
it totally knocked out my appetite and my ability to eat food much less tolerate coffee
i lived on puréed food for weeks from march to august of this year
my weight plummeted from 187 down to my low point of 148 in august

at that point i turned to the gastroenterologist in his office and said 
im going to starve to death arent i
he said
no im not going to let that happen
i wasnt too sure about that 

i knew i had reached a point where more drastic things might have to be done
like
tube feedings

now mr h was on tube feedings to hydrate his adult kidney and to provide the extra nutrition he needed to jump start his growth and development

i just realized that both he and i were a the same point during that time

i had researched how to do tube feeding in adults
i knew that my feeding if that was what happened would not be like mr hs with his g tube 
my stomach wasnt working so
i would have to have a jejunostomy tube placed and do feeding that way
what i found was not acceptable to me

i was determined to change things around
at one point i was only eating a small custard dish of pureed food 3 times per day
about what a cat would eat

i started on the organic soup kitchen nutritious soups designed for cancer patients and gradually advanced my diet from there
everything i ate for weeks or months was pureed
ever eaten a pureed taco or pureed pizza or pureed pasta
well if you are starving you dont mind

during all of this i never had a cup of coffee or a glass of wine

in august my goal was to advance to solid food and to start my coffee back

today now 4 months later i have reached that goal
i havent advanced to my glass of red wine yet but its hopeful

i still eat a nutrition laded soup for lunch
the rest of my meals are solid
i have gained back 15 lbs of my 39 lbs i lost
my goal is to gain 10 more lbs then stay there since thats an ideal weight for my height

i feel good
i finally got back my stamina 
i am back to doing what i was doing before my march illness
i weigh what i did when i graduated from high school
not many of you can say that can you

so i have suffered the last few months
seeing coffee commercials of tv
seeing family drink good ole dark bold coffee
i even had to smell it sometimes
yes i will admit i opened up my coffee container several times and took a good whiff of the coffee
that helped a lot

two weeks ago my wife she tried to give my coffee away to someone 
i relented and let her give away half of it
i said i plan to start back coffee again someday 
im sure she didnt believe me though

someone gave us some dark dark chocolate fudge for christmas 
it smelled rich 
i ate half a piece every morning for a few days
man
i felt caffeinated 
it felt so good

i thought to myself
i can do this 
im ready to go for it
so
two days ago i got out my bold dark rich coffee
added one full scoop into my coffee pot
sticking my nose almost into the coffee as i dumped the coffee into the pot filter
then
i breathed in the coffee fumes in and out real slowly to enjoy the coffee vapors
i could feel it all getting into my pores
then 
i poured the cup of coffee into that cup in that picture above

this must be the feeling that an addict gets when they get their drug they have been missing
my drug was caffeine

i could feel it hit my stomach then go out to my arms and legs up my neck into my brain
i felt caffeinated again

it felt so good
it has been a long long 9 months

now i take my aricept (donepezil) each morning after i eat
the aricept gives me a burst of energy for a few hours and makes me talkative and energetic

now
add caffeine to that 
well the first morning as i was drinking it my wife came and sat down to visit with me
i talked her head off
she hardly got a word in edge way 
then
i realized 
i said to her
im talking too much arent i
no
she said 
you are not 
i thinks she was glad to have the new me back again after 9 months

so in summary 
i feel good
my appetite is good
im back into some of my old clothes
i had reached the last loop in my belts
in fact i had borrowed my wife shes belt at one point
and
im happy 
im caffeinated again

now for some wine

the organicgreen doctor