my story revisited #56-tough choice

MY STORY REVISITED #56-TOUGH CHOICE

my wife she and i have already had the discussion about what i want to do if i reach that point where i no longer should be at home but should be in a long term facility
i have told her dont hesitate
if you arent sure do it
thats what i would want to do if i could make the decision for her

dont let me wonder off
dont let me fall down some stairs
dont let me drive off in a car and be one of those silver alerts you see on the interstate
dont let me stay at home if i cant take care of myself

i told her
when its time its time just do it
im giving you permission to make that decision when you make it dont look back
dont think twice about it

now it helps we have a good long term care plan that covers most of my care for up to 3 years

most adult men with alzheimers dont last that long after they are put in long term care

i have also told her that i dont want any life saving things done to me once i dont know whats going on 
let me go peacefully

we recently finalized all our legal paperwork like a will a trust a power of attorney a health care directive our wishes on how we want to be cared for
its all in writing for folks to see when its needed

we are glad thats done

my brother lasted about a year and a half in long term care
at the end he was in the final stages of azlheimers disease
the decision was made by the family and the one i would want done for me to place him in hospice and let him go peacefully with his family around him

it was the end to a long painful journey that so far i have escaped but i know its coming sometime in the future

in fact when i wrote this blog 8 years ago i really thought i would be much further along in the disease process
i am not so far and im grateful for the reprieve these last 8 years

i am also glad my wife she and i have had a chance to talk about our final wishes 
we both understand what the other one wants now
its in writing also
_________

03-30-2012
TOUGH CHOICE

i am thinking today of my younger brothers family as they have
to make a difficult decision
my younger brother has alzheimers disease and it has come to a
point when a difficult decision has to be made as to whether it
is safe for him to stay in his home because this terrible disease
has marched on

he had a seizure which was probably unrelated to his alzheimers
disease
this placed him in the hospital and brought this social issue to a
head for his family

sometimes things happen for a reason

my wife she and i have already had this talk about what i want done
when i reach this stage
our decision has already been made
its to be made and no one is to look back and wished they had not
made the decision to put me in a long term care facility
there is to be no guilt as its the right thing for my family to do
the right thing for my wife she to do
all i ask of them and my friends is to come visit me when the time
comes and to support my family

my wife she and i are lucky as compared to my younger brother and
his wife as we got to discuss these issues years (i hope years) before
it happens
they probably did not get a chance to have an open frank discussion
about what to do as my younger brother when he was diagnosed was
probably cognitively impaired enough not to be able to
make the decision

i and my wife she are glad i have gotten an early diagnosis as we are
able to plan our lives
its almost cruel for families to not have that opportunity

this alzheimers disease is a cruel disease
it saps away a persons personality
they are not what they use to be
and it affects the family and friends sometimes the worst

i know i have a difficult time visiting my brother
as do some of his other siblings because we all know and me
specifically that we could be looking in a mirror at ourselves
its hard to do

again
good luck today my younger brother in your new transition to
the next stage of your life
we will be thinking of you today and every day
and
we will be with your family in spirit as they make this difficult decision
today to have you move on to this next stage
but
we know and i hope they know that they are making the right
decision for all involved
i feel like that my younger brother would want it this way also
just remember that
as
i know thats what i would want done also

the sad organicgreen doctor  : (
__________

if you havent done your final paperwork you should get it done
there is a peace of mind knowing that you have taken the burden of those decisions that are hard to make from your loved ones having to make them for you

the organicgreen doctor