alzheimers news-the black bobcat

ALZHEIMERS NEWS-THE BLACK BOBCAT

believe it or not but this is hard for me to write about
as i started to write this blog this morning my eyes filled up with tears
as
i know what this all may mean for me

when i go in for my private neurologist office visit she always asks about sleep
my answer is always the same
i dont
sleep much at night
maybe 5-6 hours
i compensate by taking noon naps

do you act out your dreams
yes
i know why she keeps asking that question
it means i may have made progression the wrong way
also
some other dementias like the awful lewybody dementia that robin williams has as this as a big feature in its symptoms

for me they seem to be happening more often now

eg
i have a water bottle by my bedside that i have to keep over an arms length away from me
why
i have knocked it off the bedside table many times
i have also been known to pick it up and throw it at something in the dark trying to get me

my wife she and i sleep in a large king side bed
i keep a 2 pillow protection between us
im afraid i will injure her during one of my dream episodes
sometimes after she calms me down she gets out of bed and sleeps in the other room

why am i telling you this

i have been diagnosed early with my diagnosis
i do a lot of reading on alzheimers disease
i know what to expect
i know what to watch for when this disease takes off
sometimes
i know too much

now i am on aricept (donepezil) to slow this diseases symptoms down
i know that aricept (donepezil) can be doing these acting out your dreams
but
i know also that these dreams can and proabably are also caused by my diagnosis
alzheimers

i could stop my aricept (donepezil) and these sleep issues would improve some
but
my disease symptoms may take off suddenly
thats something i dont want to have happen
especially
if taking the biogen aducanumab infusions really do help when they get restarted this spring
i dont want to lose any ground

are they a warning that things are going to kick off in my brain
i hope not

my mother and my brother probably didnt know what was happening to them
other folks with this disease dont either
but
i do

hopefully this will give you some insight into what could or could be happening in your loved ones with this disease

this week i had a aricept (donepezil) or alzheimers dream that is sticking with me
it remains vivid in my mind
usually they fade the next day
this one hasnt

i call it the black bobcat dream

two nights ago i woke up abruptly from my sleep around midnight
someone was breaking into our apartment
which was pitch black
when i finally woke up i looked over at these two things glowing in the dark
there sitting on my printer on the desk in our bedroom was a big ole black bobcat
with these glowing black eyes

i sat up with a start
reached over and grabbed my iphone
somehow in the dark i got my iphone light turned on
i shone the light on the bobcat
he just stared at me blinking his beady glowing eyes at me
he folks was as real as real could be

then
i lad down closed my eyes
he was gone
but there was in the dark these two glowing lights
on the printer on our desk

if you asked me how real was this
i would say
there was a black bobcat in our room
i shone the light on him
he blinked at me
he was there i saw him

now
i know he wasnt really there but he is still there
it seems like his image is burned somewhere into my brain

think of this if your loved one with this disease sees something
its real to them
it was real to me

i just hope this like i wrote above
is not a early warning sign

so
yes it was and still is disturbing to me as i finish this blog

sometimes with this disease i wish i didnt know as much

ignorance sometimes is bliss

the organicgreen doctor