i wrote this blog august 12, 2013 a few days after his death and funeral
we were in san francisco visiting our sons when we got the word he had died
we manage to fly home just in time for his funeral
i felt sad but felt some relief that his pain and suffering and his familys pain and suffering was over
he died at 62 years old in the final throes of alzheimers disease
if you knew him and what he was like before this disease took over then you will have a disdain a hatred for this awful disease
at his birthday which is today each year i go back and reread this blog i wrote
yes i tear up and cry remembering him
sometimes i feel guilty that here i am almost 6 years later doing well and he is gone
i do have a lot of introspection on my life on this day
i rethink my priorities in my life
his smile and his blue eyes his quietness his willing to help
his love for his family his service to the community
all ended this last week
he is the face of alzheimers disease
he a father husband and grandfather with friends and family
that loved him
it took him away from all of us last week
that terrible disease that robs a persons brain and takes
over
and causes a downward decline that can not be stopped
no matter what you do once it starts
thats what happened to my younger brother last week
that awful disease took him
it bothers me a lot because he died and it really bothers me
a lot that the alzheimers disease took him away from us
when he was so young
i thought this was an old persons disease
he was in the prime of his life when it started 7 years ago
im sure that he noticed things a long time before others
began to notice
ive talked and communicated with others who are diagnosed with
the disease real early and yes they notice things are changing
a long time before others notice
its the cruelty of this disease when you know
of course since our mother died from the disease he im sure
as we all do worried that he was next and he was
this also bothers me a lot
his death and seeing what his wife and kids and grandkids had
to go through during this period of time
i also know that if my diagnosis is correct that my path
will be the same as his
im glad that i know though that this is a possibility so i can plan
and hopefully my family can be as good as his family was throughout
this whole ordeal
his wife should be given the caregiver of the year award by someone
i know we all give her our vote
as she suffered through this ordeal
the financial and emotional devastation that it caused
she was there
he always knew that she was there
she was there to the end
he died in the hospice house surrounded by his wife
his girls and his grandkids his friends and family
may he rest in peace and may his family rest now in peace
his visitation the night before had a 2 1/2 hour line waiting to see
the family
a tribute to how well liked he was
this silent guy with the blue eyes and that smile that so many
people commented on
the salute by the fire department
the sounding of the final bells
the tribute of the sheriffs department
the presentation to his wife of the flag
the excellent funeral service by his minister who knew him
as he told stories about my brother
the songs sung by a young man
who at one point had to pause as he teared up
a building packed to capacity to honor him
my younger brother
yes may he rest in peace
ive shed my tears many times this last week
but ive smiled a lot
like he use to
as i remember the things we use to do together when we
were young
some mischievous some not
well most were probably mischievous
ill remember your last visit to our house when we had a lot
of time together
the alzhiemers had its hold on you then
you know as the words wouldnt come out right
and as you said you couldnt remember things
then our family reunion last month
when your wife that courageous dedicated wife brought you
there in that wheelchair bed
you were in there somewhere
we were and all are glad that she made the effort to have you there
surrounded by all the noise and happiness
somewhere inside i think you knew you were there and enjoyed it
i cherish the visits i had with you that weekend
you didnt talk back but i talked to you anyway
i think you knew i was there
im glad now that you are at peace
and your family
yes the mirror in which i look at is gone
rip
we will all miss you
i hope to revisit this blog on his birthday each year
to keep his memory in my brain as long as i can
the organicgreen doctor
Happy birthday, forever
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