in memoriam

IN MEMORIAM

i have not been to many funerals or memorial services in my lifetime
i when i started counting the ones i went to realized i avoided them mostly

all i could recall were about nine
my two grandparents and my two parents
all four had lived a good life

my wifes friend who died from cancer

a high school friend tragically killed in a car wreck
when you lose a teenager its always tragic

my friend greg who died from huntingtons disease
his was the only one where i was asked to talk
i got through two sentences when i couldnt go further so a friend finished what i was going to say
his death bothered me since we were about the same age
but
he and his wife extracted a lot out of life after he got his official diagnosis twenty years before his death

then the one that bothered me the most was my younger brothers funeral
we were a year apart
he left us in the final stages of alzheimers disease
i know thats how ill probably go
that plus losing someone who was almost a twin growing up
made his death the hardest

then
this last week i went to another funeral or memorial service
this time for someone i had known only a few months

sometimes folks enter your life and leave an impression on you then they leave

she died suddenly in her sleep a few weeks ago
she retired about 4 months before her sudden death

i met her in the garden where i volunteer each week and where i have my garden plot

as i sat listening to her ceremony i thought i would like one just like this
folks were crying some and yes there were smiling and laughing some

as i sat and listened i realized that i didnt know as much about her as she knew about me and my family
she seemed to be good at finding out about a person
she always asked how my two grandkids were
especially mr h and his chronic kidney disease
she seemed interested in his story
at christmas she gave them both a small gift
something apparently she was known to do for friends and family and neighbors
especially kids

now i did extract from her that she was a retired preschool teacher
i never knew her personal life
but
she did tell me she had a trip on the train from santa barbara to chicago planned
she went all by herself

at the service i found out that wasnt her first time to travel alone like this
she did it more than once across europe
alone

im sure she left a trail of memories and friends who remember her as she went

we also talked while weeding or planting veggies about that she writes
i told her about my blog that i almost write every day
she said well i write in my journal every day since i was a child

at the service
i found out she wrote letters to folks
not texting or email
she old schooled it
she wrote letters

some of the letters were read at her service
some of her poems were read also

she was a spiritual person both religiously and otherwise

she loved nature
she loved people it seemed

i miss seeing her each week as i volunteer
sometimes
i even look around wondering where she is
then
i remember

so
i will say that she left an impression on me the short time i knew her
an impression it seems she left on a lot of folks

i would hope that when its my time that folks would remember me like her family and friends remembered her

with respect and honor with a tear but also with a smile

the organicgreen doctor