pop the top

POP THE TOP
this week a friend said meet us at the new house
i would like to drink a bottle of wine to celebrate
the building of the new house

so
we and another couple met her there
the house is a few miles from the country n
not in some subdivision in town
you have to be wanting to go there
if your car passes by the nearby houses
the neighbors keep an eye on it
since
people just dont pass through this road

so
we looked around at the house
talked about its location
and
the  potential for landscaping etc

then
we got out the bottle of wine
from a local winery nearby
got out the paper cups to sip it from

ok
wheres the wine opener
oh i think its in the truck
nope
well i usually have one in our car
i thought why would you have one in your car
but
nope it wasnt there

so
here we are in nowhere land
with no wine opener
now we live 3 miles away
we got three at our place
a 20-30 minute trip would bring it back

so
i looked at one of the guys
hes a researcher at a university

lets put on our mcgiver hats i said

you know
i saw this video once where you put the wine
in the heel of your shoe or boot
beat the heel on a post or wall
the cork will come out

heck
we even pulled up the video on line
it was in some language i couldnt recognize
but the video was easy to follow

he looked at me
i looked at him
why not i said
so
i peeled off the top wrapper
put the wine bottle in my tennis shoes heel
banged it hard against the new post on her porch

i sure hope this wine bottle doesnt break in my hand
that would be fun to explain to the er doctor

the cork barely peaked out the top
bam bam bam i went
harder and harder each time
it barely peaked a little more

so
i thought to myself
nothing good is going to come of this if i continue this

so
with a mcgiver look to the researcher
lets think of something else

do you have a screwdriver he said
luckily the electrician had left his there

do we have a screw somewhere

so i found a roofing screw and a sheet rock screw

the researcher with that mcgiver grin
screwed the screw into the cork
leaving a small amount sticking up out of the cork

do you have some pliers he said

yes
he left some here

he grasped the screw with the pliers
pulled and wiggled that screw and cork
then
kapop the cork came out

he raised the wine bottle
cheers he said
poured each of us some wine
we tapped the paper cups together

to the new homeowner
cheers

the organicgreen doctor