choppers

CHOPPERS
as i was waiting for my new choppers to be
superglued in place over my implants
6 new front teeth total
 
webdental.com

i asked my dentist
you know on tv they say you can do all this
in one day

he just smiled
like
ive heard this one before

now i just spent 6 months from start to finish
getting mine all fixed
i knew how much it cost
lets say
i could have bought a new car with the money
how much discomfort was involved
how many visits it took
how much i hated the daily use of the temporary dentures
i had to wear during this time
how many pain pills i had to take after some of the visits
even the last one
which wasnt suppose to be uncomfortable
well he lied again
it hurt like hell
but
im glad its done now

i went throught 3 temporaries
chewed them to smithereens i did
i did wonder if maybe i grind my teeth at night
my wife she has never complained
but man was i ever rough on those things

then
this last weekend on a trip
i was trying to make it through to the end
the temporary broke in two places

my choice
go dentureless and look like someone from deliverance
or
well i went for this one
get me some superglue
glue that sucker together
i only needed 3 more days of its use

so into the store in a town 5 hours away i went
to get me some superglue
as i was walking in the store
i ran into this lady i had never met before
she looked familiar
she said you are dr nash arent you
i said reaching back into my facebook memory
you are ill make up a name mary ann
she had sought out my help with a relative who had memory loss
i didnt know her
the article on me several years ago thats at the top of this blog
that was picked up by the associated press had appeared in
her local paper
through friends she had tracked me down

small world huh
fate
thanks to my need for superglue i got to meet her

then
to my friends house to put these temporary choppers together
first i superglued the tubes cap to my finger
then
i suprerglued my two fingers together
then
i got a big glob inside the choppers
held the three broken pieces real tight
thought
uhoh
i only got 10 seconds to get this all right
wiped the glob off
after 10 seconds
stuck it in my mouth
looked in the mirror
thinking
did i just superglue this thing to my teeth

for a moment i was afraid to see if i could remove it
wonder what the dentist would say to me
sorry you gotta just wear that thing till it falls out of there

all that did go through my mind

so
i looked in the mirror
there all over my tongue was all that glue
there all over the inside of my mouth was all that glue
this aint going to be good i thought
so
i slowly reached in
grasped the edges
pulled real hard like the dentist does when he pulls a tooth
this sucking popping sound was heard
thought i had pulled a tooth i did

there
in my hand
was those choppers
all chewed up they were
but they were glued together but moved like a hinge
but they were held all together

so
in they went for the next three days
until i got my new permanent choppers

now they made me show my id to get this superglue
guess they thought i would sniff it
fooled them
i ate it

as i was leaving the dentist that last day
when he was all finished with me
my new choppers all in place
looking better than the originals
i told him
you aint ever seeing me again

the organicgreen doctor