things happen in threes

THINGS HAPPEN IN THREES
isnt that correct
right

when in practice i use to notice if i had a patient
with appendicitis
soon i would have two more
so
i was more careful looking for that third case

then
you know when an actress or actor dies then another one dies
it always seems
yep
another dies

so this week after the second thing happen to me
i started thinking about
oh no
whats going to happen next

first
i have had iritis in my right eye intermittently for about 20 years
the last time it flared up was about 5 years ago
the reason i know is when i pulled out my steroid eye drops
they were outdated over 4 years ago

so a couple weeks ago i noticed
man as i told my wife she
i feel like i hit a wall
i was so tired
heck
even despite the aricept knocking out my sleep i found
myself not only taking longer noon naps
but
i was sleeping my normal 7 hours at night
but
was still real tired
then
here came the 24/7 headache
the kind that feels like you drank too much red wine the
night before
but
thankfully relieved with acetaminophen arthritis formula
but
it came back when it wore off
then
bam here came the red inflamed red eye
looks like pink eye but hurts like a finger stuck in the eye
so
on to my old steroid drops i went
ive done this enough my eye doctor keeps me stocked with
steroid drops
i did the treatment then it went away
tapered it off
then
it came back
so i finally gave up and saw the eye doctor
she added two eye drops for 2-3 weeks
after 5 days its under control
however
when i stop it im hoping its done for another 5 years

then
as i bit into my sandwich
uh oh i said
i knew that was not good
my bridge which includes all 6 of my front teeth
starting moving
this has happened before
i knew what it all meant
now i really felt bad knowing what all was coming
i had been warned 15 years ago this day was coming

all of this because of taking a large bite out of a steering wheel
when i was 20
before seat belt days

i have made dentists rich over the last 40 years
now i knew they were going to get even richer

so off to my dentist i went
well he said its time
it all has to come off now
you need two teeth pulled and four implants placed
along with extensive bridge work

there goes my kids inheritance

my choices besides above was to go with a partial denture made of
6 teeth
thats something i vowed to never ever do again
or
just go around without any upper front teeth
which
i aint going to do
not yet anyway
eventually it wont matter

now i told the dentist this aint a good time
i have 3 presentations to do
he said
well what you have may hold up for a few weeks
or
it may not last a few days

so knowing how murphys law works
i decided to go for it now and spend my kids inheritance

so i underwent the procedure
they even used the michael jackson sleep med on me
they asked what music i wanted to listen to
i said of course michael jackson stuff

well the next day
i felt like manure and when i looked in the mirror
i looked like that too
two black eyes
a purple streak down my right face
a swollen upper jaw
just what the hell did they do to me
when i was listening to michaels song
beat it

im glad i wasnt due a portrait

so i am on a mostly liquid diet
what i miss most of all is my cookies i eat with each meal
maybe i could puree them

thank goodness for pain pills
so
now i look beat up my red eye at least isnt red my headache is controlled
with the pain pills for my mouth

then i got to think
oh no
what about that things come in threes thing
that always seems to happen

so
here it came on saturday
after attending the mother earth news fair
my mouth was athrobbing
so we came home after lunch

i was anxious to get inside to get to my drugs
when we arrived
perched onto of the light pole overlooking our chicken coop
was this giant white mexican eagle
well thats what the neighbors call them

then
i heard the chickens squawking
if youve had chickens you recognize that squawking
that bad squawking
like when they are being attacked
a sound that never ever ends well

i ran down to the coop
there
was this giant white eagle trapped inside the coop
with a wing span of 6 ft
then i saw one of his prey laying in the chicken run
it wasnt pretty
like what you see on tv when they drop bombs in syria

i ran into the coop
then
kabam
i thought that other eagle had knocked me off my feet
onto a metal cage i went
off with my new glasses
stunned i was
i picked up my glasses which were all crooked
the right lenses were destroyed
lucky for me later i had saved my old glasses
they were covered with blood
as was my face

i got them straightened enough to put them on
turned
there i was facing the gigantic bird with this giant
raptor mouth and claws
with its wings spread out
in attack mode
in an area of about 10 ft square
like those fighters on tv in those cages

all i could think was
am i next on his meal list

so i grabbed a large t post
poked him in the chest
walked him backwards out of the coop
off he flew

sorry i wont describe the carnage that was around me
lets just say we dont have as many chickens now

into the house i went
looked in the mirror

i looked like a zombie
with a large swollen right cheek
a large superficial laceration down my right face
a swollen upper front jaw
two purple eyes
a long streak of purple bruise down my right lower face
a red right eye

yes i was not a purty site on saturday

then
i got to thinking
this is a good thing now

things always come in threes
so
i have had my threes this week
so
i should be done

thank goodness
it can only get better
right

the organicgreen doctor