deja vu

DEJA VU
thats what it was like yesterday
deja vu

i walked into that room with the window
the same room for those of you that have seen the video
on my story with alzheimers disease that i am sitting in when
they filmed me doing part of my neuropsychological exam
and there was that window where i looked out of when
that stone faced poker faced examiner read those words to me

she is such a good one as she never breaks down
well i did get her to smile once and granted now that she
knows me she smiles more than once when im being tested

but there was that room
it was it seemed more surreal than before
i guess since ive being working on my presentation and have
thought more about the neuropsychological testing and that
initial one that was done
when i looked out that window
yes i did sweat some
as i realized that the moment arrived when i had developed
some problems with my short term memory

as i wrote yesterday she read me those 10 words from three
different word categories the first time i was tested and
those words just sailed through my brain and went somewhere else

you know like when you talk to your kids and they arent listening
sure mom ill do it
they didnt hear a word you said
or
you talk to your wife she while she is on her smartphone
she smiles and says sure
so i said
the cat ate the dog and laid 3 red eggs today
really thats good
she didnt hear a word i said

the same yesterday
that poker faced examiner (ok now she is a nice smiley person when
she is out of character)
im going to read you ten words and when i finish i want you to repeat
as many words as you can back to me
i said ok
im ready this time
she gives me a word and i try to associate some of them together
go
she slowly reads the list to me
i start associating words together
damn where did those first words go to
i learned quickly to repeat back the last words read to me

my score 3 of 10
i know thats not very good
but she does it several times and has me identify the 10 words out of
a list of about 30 words
i wonder if thats cheating
i got a few more
but i realize
no ive not improved in 2 1/2 years but ive not gotten worse

damn that room

then after that test i went to get my beta amyloid pet scan of the brain
the amyvid pet scan
the one that for me may give me the final answer

as i was laying on the table wanting for them to get the iv stuff ready
i was on my smartphone looking at a link my wife she sent me
it was a blog that a doctor in washington dc does about his journey
with a new diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment amnestic type thats
looking like its early alzheimers
story sounds familiar right

he is laying on a bed at georgetown university hospital recieving as part
of a study one of the new alzheimers vaccines that is being tested to see
if it will remove some of the beta amyloid from his brain and maybe
help him

i do feel a tie to him and his situation
it did seem surreal as i laid there about to get that test that will tell
someone somewhere whether i have beta amyloid accumulating in
my brain also
one question that i hope to have an answer to soon
then
what will i be able to do about it
it may be nothing thats the bad part
nothing may be the answer unless that stuff hes getting iv shows itself
to work and help by removing that beta amyloid from his brain

then after reading his blog and mentally getting ready for the infusion
and hearing that pet scanner whorl around and sound like im
underneath a freight train
im told there was a problem with the stuff i was going to be given iv
it needs to be remixed

so all this waiting gets delayed now for ten more days when i
will get another chance at getting this 2nd amyvid pet scan done

then
as part of another study im in i had to do smell tests on 30+- odors
to see if i could recognize them
see that ofactory nerve the smeller nerve goes right to the area
underneath the brain where alzheimers disease starts
heck if that will help in someway advance the knowledge ill smell things
all day long i if i need to

next on friday i do an mri scan of the brain
then that will be followed by a glucose metabolism pet scan of the brain

then next week
its spinal tap time for beta amyloid and tau protein then
followed by the amyvid the beta amyloid pet scan of the brain

those are the two final answer tests that i have
they will give me the final answer
do i have it or not

the organicgreen doctor