TOUGH CHOICE
i am thinking today of my younger brothers family as they have
to make a difficult decision
my younger brother has alzheimers disease and it has come to a
point when a difficult decision has to be made as to whether it
is safe for him to stay in his home because this terrible disease
has marched on
he had a seizure which was probably unrelated to his alzheimers
disease
this placed him in the hospital and brought this social issue to a
head for his family
sometimes things happen for a reason
my wife she and i have already had this talk about what i want done
when i reach this stage
our decision has already been made
its to be made and no one is to look back and wished they had not
made the decision to put me in a long term care facility
there is to be no guilt as its the right thing for my family to do
the right thing for my wife she to do
all i ask of them and my friends is to come visit me when the time
comes and to support my family
my wife she and i are lucky as compared to my younger brother and
his wife as we got to discuss these issues years (i hope years) before
it happens
they probably did not get a chance to have an open frank discussion
about what to do as my younger brother when he was diagnosed was
probably cognitively impaired enough not to be able to
make the decision
i and my wife she are glad i have gotten an early diagnosis as we are
able to plan our lives
its almost cruel for families to not have that opportunity
this alzheimers disease is a cruel disease
it saps away a persons personality
they are not what they use to be
and it affects the family and friends sometimes the worst
i know i have a difficult time visiting my brother
as do some of his other siblings because we all know and me
specifically that we could be looking in a mirror at ourselves
its hard to do
again
good luck today my younger brother in your new transition to
the next stage of your life
we will be thinking of you today and every day
and
we will be with your family in spirit as they make this difficult decision
today to have you move on to this next stage
but
we know and i hope they know that they are making the right
decision for all involved
i feel like that my younger brother would want it this way also
just remember that
as
i know thats what i would want done also
the sad organicgreen doctor : (
It is a very sad disease. My father in law has now been confined to a wheelchair because he keeps falling. He hates it and keeps trying to get out. I believe his only pleasure was walking around, rearranging furniture and now he has nothing. There are small details like these, that should probably also be addressed. If I ever get to that point, I want to stay mobile and, if I fall, then let me fall.
ReplyDeleteThere are also many friends, and even some family, who don't ever visit him. I guess they also avoid mirrors. Good for you Doc. My father in law refused to discuss much about this, but at least he had a living will and long term care insurance. But a living will is only as good as the person with power of attorney. That is a whole other story. :(
aideen
Deletemany refuse to talk about it and refuse to get help
and then refuse to get treatment
we need to change peoples attitudes about this disease
when a person advances in this disease you have to accept them as they are
yes give them some freedom but dont let them hurt themselves
and visit them
so many times people stop visiting and i understand why but you have to overcome that
remember there is a person in their somewhere
they appreciate the attention
good luck with your father in law
togd
:(
ReplyDeleteYou are right. Tough days. Because of this, a lot of us are letting our spouses know what we want and encouraging them to pull the decision trigger when the time comes and have the assurance that it is the decision that the spouse wanted. So, I do believe that there is some good coming from this. I still cannot even begin to imagine the heart felt pain though. Thanks for the post. We love ya'll!
Yes it was the toughest decision and I could not have made it without my faith in God and the support of our two daughters and there husbands. They have been by my side for these past few days. Also my husband's sisters and brothers, nephews, nieces, and Our church family with all the prayers on our behalf. Please visit The dr's little brother when you can. he may not remember you came but he loves to talk and it makes him feel good at the time. Also please sit down with your spouse and let them know what your wishes are! Love you all The little brother's wife
Deletesue
Deletefor those whose last name is the same as mine or if you are genetically kin to me your family should plan for what may happen
my wife she and i are lucky i guess that we are able to do all the prep we can for the day when this has to be faced
although you can never really be prepared
togd
anon
Deletewe are with you with your decision
a lot of people were touched by the blog today
i hope that your situation has helped someone seek help seek diagnosis get prepared become an advocate realize they need to visit ill family and support the patient and their family
this blog was one of the hardest i wrote
we are thinking of yall every day
love always
togd
Hugs doc. It is a blessing for your family that you have plans.
ReplyDeletekaren-aspergersmom
Deletethanks
you deal with a daily struggle with your family that touches a lot of people
keep on writing as you are helping a lot of people with the same problems in their family
togd